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And, like a good parent who is appropriately disciplining a child, God gave some very clear, easy to understand action steps that would help them get back on track.īut the kids grew up, and then they wandered, and then they came back, and then time lapsed, and then-Jesus.
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Furthermore, they were words meant for a group of people who had completely derailed. In the broadest of terms, those commandments (and the following chapters of instruction) were not God’s only words-they were His first words. But I also won’t ignore everything that happens after Moses received those words. Now people will say, “Well, God wrote that, how can you just choose to ignore it when it’s convenient for you?” I won’t ignore it, and neither should you, Ashley.
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That is, by any reasonable standard, outside of the character of a loving God whose heart, compassion and grace is on display throughout the canon of Scripture. Put more directly, God did not chisel the fifth commandment in the hopes that you would remain or return to an abusive situation. God is out to love you, walk with you, even restore and redeem that which has been lost in you (and all of us to some extent). But one of my favorite things I’ve heard her say is, “Hey, you know what, God isn’t out to trick you.”Įvery time she says that, I get jolted back into a new place of thinking-a place where I remember that whatever I’m questioning at the moment is not best served by swirling in my own scriptural knowledge or feelings about a topic-but rather by remembering God, His character and His desires.Īshley, to your inquiry about honoring an abusive parent, I would first say God isn’t out to trick you. My podcasting buddy, Joy Eggerichs, says a lot of wise things. I think there’s a deeper conversation to be had-one that focuses on the nature of God. To that end, I’ve done a fair amount of research in preparation for this question because, quite unfortunately, abuse and our reconciling of that abuse is almost common.
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Because no one, and likely not even God, would blame you for running from that abuse and never looking over your shoulder to address Ephesians 6:2-3 (Exodus 20:12, Colossians 3:20). And let me just say, it says so much about you that you would even care enough to engage this idea.
#Honor your mother and father how to
Having said that, let’s talk about your thoughtful and quite honorable question about how to honor a parent who is also an abuser. And even if you don’t, or have some reply queued up like, “Well, it was a complex situation and sometimes …”, I hope you continue to heal and grow and know for certain that your abuse was unjust. Even if you were the most bratty, difficult, disrespectful punk of a kid, whatever abuse you suffered was horrible and wrong. What does it mean by honoring them? Am I disobeying God if I don’t have a relationship with one of my parents?Īshley, before I get rolling on what honoring may look like in your circumstance, I want to assure you of something: Your abuse was not warranted. I have continuously wrestled with this verse as one of my parents was abusive. Please take care of her, even as you engage in a spirited debate.Įphesians 6:2-3 tells us we must honor our father and mother. The person who wrote this question is an actual person who will actually read your comments and can actually be loved or hurt. Hey friends who are going to comment on this, please remember that whatever criticism you may have about this column and the advice therein should be pointed at me.